It is amazing how we, human beings, can adapt to almost everything.
When I arrived in Singapore, I was sweating a lot, not able to resist the heat and humidity, I even had a heat rash. 5 weeks later, I am okay with the climate, I can actually wear skinny jeans, thing I thought was completely impossible and nonsensical to do here. It may seem insignificant, but is shows how we are, how we adapt to new environment, situations, people. We have this amazing ability and sometimes, we don't even realize it.
Think about it, we are able to go somewhere new and make it home. What seemed strange, hard, different yesterday can be now part of our daily routine. And it seems as if we have no limitations.
I did find one limit to my adaptation. It might be very strange or illogical, or maybe it's a primitive reaction?! Let me explain. I have lived 3 years in Lima, Peru. I really loved those years. Peru has almost become my second nation, I have people there I can call friends and family. I learnt so much over there. Yet, I am not sure I will be able to go back and actually start a life again over there. 
My reason is simple: Peru is situated along the boundary of two tectonic plates, the Nazca Plate and the South American one causing tremors and earthquakes. While all Peruvians I met living there had absolutely no issue with this fact, I could not get used to it. They have grown up and accepted this reality, they know it can happen, they didn't choose it, it's part of their environment. Moreover, earthquake would never be the number one reason why people would live the city if they had an opportunity. I found it extraordinary, because I can't. This is my limitation - and I don't know if it sounds very rational. Indeed I have a fear of something that might or might not happen, so I could potentially spend my whole life there and nothing would happen. But if an earthquake happens, that the one I experienced back in 2007, I know it can actually destroy and kill hundreds around me in less than 3 minutes. 
When I was living there, of course I didn't let this "fear" control my life, it would have been totally insane. I mean, you cannot live thinking something bad/wrong/dangerous might happen to you or you won't be going out of your home. I simply adapted to the situation and context and go on with my life. I come from a very "quiet" nature area and that might be the reason why I might no longer be able to go back in Lima and deal with it. Or maybe it is just a primitive sense that tells me not to add natural disasters to the current many risks of life...
Yet, who knows? Maybe I will go back.
A lot of people live in dangerous areas (dangerous for many different reasons), by choice or not, yet we are like that, able and capable of building and carrying on with our lives wherever we are, wherever we go.

Do you always realize your comment is not prejudicial?

Not to long ago, a friend of mine was telling me about his work hours and how everyone at his office was staying late. In fact, he started talking about one particular colleague, a woman, and how business oriented or even workaholic she was. Nothing was wrong with that to him until he went on saying that, he and other colleagues, finally told her to relax, and because she had children, she should go home, take time and enjoy her children.

It seems to me they were very thoughtful and kind, and so I asked - Did you make the same comment to the guys in the office who have children?  His answer was no.

I wanted to start explaining to him that this kind of comments - and behind it a way of thinking - was quite wrong. Indeed, why would you say it only to a woman who is a mother and not to the men who are fathers? Is it because of the stereotypes of gender roles you have? However my friend realized it the moment he answered my question and he was already deep in thoughts about his conception of men and women at work and at home and the role we, as a society, give them. 

Sometimes, you mean right, but when you actually analyze it, what you say is gender bias or might even be sexist. I know I may sound alarmist, I just want us to think about our conception of men and women and the roles we give them.

It's always nice to receive advice from others but do you feel sometimes is important to learn by yourself? Or that you learn better by experiencing things on your own?

In spring 2011, I was walking down the streets in Chicago with a girl I knew. I was commenting that whatever I was doing, I tried to dress more business-like because you never know who you are going to meet or run into in the city.
She laughed at me and told me that I wasn't that famous.
I wanted to explain to her that it wasn't about me, but about maybe meeting your future boss in a cafe or simply running into one of your company partners in the streets and you still want to give a good impression of yourself and your company (Am I thinking too far?).

I am not talking wearing everyday a women suit, specially not at the beach ;) but still being a bit considerate with what you choose to wear. It can be very trendy or fashionable, I don't care, as long as it feels "right" for me.

Funny enough, 2 years later at a get together with other friends, she was telling that in order to appear more professional, and feel empowered, she was wearing more shirts and less "bohemian" clothes.



I was glad she got it. Deep down I know that 2 years before that I could have explained my reasoning and she could have used it earlier but sometimes we need our own experiences to learn.

I know, as a fact, I still have so much to learn!

And when is it?
I am not talking about inappropriate/borderline jokes that you wouldn't want your entourage to tell either at a family gathering or at work.
I am asking about plain and silly jokes.
I am often tempted to make a funny comment regarding a situation, conversation or words I consider humorous.
Some people see jokes as inappropriate in a professional environments, while others see it as an ice breaker and bonding element.

No later than yesterday night, I was in a situation where I had to bite my tongue to avoid a joke. I was at a social event and met a translator and interpreter Japanese/Singlish. After she introduced herself, I asked her in she was working for a certain industry or is she had any areas of predilection. She explained to me as a translator she works for any kind of company and products or services. As an interpreter, she usually works for conferences or official visits. Then she added that she is working at lot a the zoo. Here, a 1000 thought came to my mind - come on, an interpreter at the zoo! I didn't dare saying anything though and she explained the reason of her work over there. Grown up conversation.
However, two minutes later, she told me that she drank to much the previous day and at this event, it was a third glass and she was starting to feel tipsy. I guess my comments would not have been weird.
So I wasn't able to read the situation correctly enough to feel at ease with a funny comment.
On the other hand, when you do make a funny comment and nobody answers to it, it feel really uncomfortable. So we learn to be serious and take things seriously. 
Is it the way to connect? work? or don't we need to relax and enjoy a good laugh, sometimes?

Believe in it.

Create it.

"If you look for perfection, you'll never be content." -  Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina.
Nobody is perfect | No relationship is perfect | There is no perfect job | There is no perfect time.
Yet, you are entitled to see yourself as perfect while recognizing your flaws, to think your relationship is the perfect one for you and that you could not dream of a more perfect job to suit you or a perfect time to do what you are about to do.

Nevertheless, I see and I hear people around me looking for perfection - in their life, job, partners. You can't actually look for perfection, you have to create it. There is no perfect moment unless you decide to define it as being one. You have to create your perfect relationship, it won't appear alone. You are the one believing that this partner is perfect and if you don't believe it, then yes, of course he/she is not perfect for you.

There is this funny thing in Spanish, 2 different verbs become the same when you conjugate them to the first person singular: Crear (To create) and Creer (To believe) - Yo creo. And I think for perfection, you have to believe and create it at the same time. Everything, every moment, everyone will be perfect only and always according to you. Perfection, as well as beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Have you ever noticed that when you speak another language, not only your body language and hand movements are different but also your voice tone?
This is an amazing fact. Learning a language is also learning cultural and social factors and when you finally master a language, you can blend with native speakers, mimicking them at first and slowly integrating all of their physical and oral expressions.
While my voice in French is quite "normal", neither deep nor high-pitched, my voice in Spanish seems like one of a giggling teenage girl! Ok, I might be exaggerating but I sound much more higher and younger in Spanish. I think my voice tone is also higher in American English. I am not talking about intonations, because, of course intonations change depending of the language you are speaking, I am really speaking about deep or high-pitched voice sound.
I found a person on Linguaphiles asking the question of voice changes while speaking foreign languages, you can read the answers here.
One time in France, while I was having a drink with my sister and her friends, my sister told me to lower my voice, as, according to her, I was speaking very loud. I then realized that, because I just arrived from Spain, I was still speaking as a Spanish person, which is louder than a French person (at least from a French perspective). I had then to readapt myself to the French correct voice volume!  Funny how language really molds and formats us!
Being able to correct and adapt oneself culturally to any kind of situations is a real gift, but it is also a learning experience that never ends.

Did you go through hair disasters during your childhood? Whit three older sisters, I sure did!
Anyway, last week-end I seriously felt I needed to do something with my hair, either to structure it and allow it to grow or to cut it short again. So I took matter into my own hands and looked for reviews and best hairdressers in Paris on the web and found a very skilled and nice one for an affordable price. (Do I still need to emphasize that reviews, references and articles on internet are very important?).
I went there confident that I would have a great experience. Indeed, I had a wonderful time and a great haircut. We discussed what where my options and decided on going shorter. I didn't realize though how short we were talking about. Don't get me wrong, the hairstyle does suit my face shape, so it's very positive. Does it fit my personality? Well, it is quite edgy and I think of me rather as a nice but normal style person. So here is my dilemma: I have this super edgy hairstyle so how should I wear it?
I am sure  people see me differently. It is one thing to have short hair and a complete different one to have a "kinda Miley Cyrus" hairstyle!
I am amused because it's bold, it's almost a statement, so I am not really worry about people's judgement.
However as long as we would like to think appearances do not matter, they actually do!
Regarding this topic, did you see lately a video regarding people helping -or not- a man that falls on the ground? If not, it means you haven't been surfing the web for too long!
So here I share one of the many versions for you. All about appearances and judgements.
Manage your brand image and yours as if tomorrow it were to fall and you would want people around to pick it up. 

Today I have started an online course from France Business School about Design Thinking. As a massive open online course (MOOC), it is free and open to everyone but it's in French.
If many people might be familiar with this topic, it is indeed pretty interesting to learn more about it and of course, apply the new knowledge and techniques practically. I am always curious so it should be an interesting experience. (full disclosure: I'm promoted neither the course nor the school; I am merely describing an activity I have just started today).
On the other hand, I am learning Portuguese with Duolingo. It is a free language learning application that I use on my phone, one session per day. To complete the learning process, I watch Youtube videos (I subscribed to a channel I found by browsing the YouTube trending dashboards) from Brazil and movies in Portuguese from time to time. I am still a beginner of course, but, in a year from now, I can picture myself speaking Portuguese!
I don't really know how people feel about online education. I have the sensation that many disregard it as being a "lazy" and/or not viable educational option. Personally, I find it very hard as it requires strong motivation and self discipline and that is why I admire and respect people following massive open online courses.
At the beginning of this year, I read this article on LinkedIn about a woman doing an MBA for less than US$ 1,000 thanks to MOOCs. I find her brilliant and really hope she will rock her professional life.
I am not sure that traditional ways of teaching, once transposed online, will do better to prepare us and/or kids. Still, it is time for us to open up to new learning processes and realize that it is not by sitting on a chair at an educational institution that we will learn more or better. In my opinion, it is the access to the right resources and our motivations that make us learn, improve and grow in any given situation.
Let's keep learning no matter how!

But I didn't vici.... 

After three years in the US, it was time for me to go back to Europe. Change is always difficult, routine is so comforting but I needed to defy and challenge myself. This is not an easy step, I haven't lived in France for 9 years, and here I am, back in Paris, well in Paris suburbs.

I have (almost) completed my MBA (I am still working on my capstone project about the digital challenges for a publishing company in the US). I had a wonderful experience getting to know the company I am working on and their processes. It was a really amazing opportunity and rewarding experience.

I also volunteered for different non for profits, I was a career development coach, a French teacher and an accounting assistant. Obviously, I had some student jobs, I was a French tutor and also a PA. All those experiences were very rewarding. I learnt so much dealing with so many varied and different people. I had the opportunity to follow the progress and life of extraordinary people and I am so grateful.

Now, it's the time for me to really enter, or reenter, the work environment. I am so motivated, so eager to take on new challenges, so available! I want to contribute, participate, learn, grow and spread my enthusiasm and energy. I am so excited for this new adventure! I am coming back here without an idea where I will end up: London, Paris, Madrid?
At the same time, it is very frightening because not only I left a city and friends that I deeply love, but also my husband. We will live separately for "we don't know how long" because we both want to grow professionally and we can't do it in the same country for now. 

Many people worry about this situation, about what will happen and why can't I just stay for a while. It's hard to explain how I feel and keep quiet. Nevertheless, I am moving not only for me but for my marriage.  

Let me explain. I came in the US with my husband and all the illusions of the "American Dream, everything is possible here". Maybe I am exaggerating a bit but I had always wanted to live and work in the US. I wanted to experience the US management and cultural approach to work. However, I experienced frustration and anger. 

My visa in the US is called the depression visa, and no, it's not exaggerated, it's a really a cursed visa. This is a visa that makes you stop believing in yourself and your professional abilities. This is a visa in which there are so many days you don't want to get up. This is a visa that makes you entirely dependent of your spouse. This is a visa that makes you disappear basically. This is a visa that still make me doubt I will be able to raise again.

But I am fierce, I want to try and this is why we decided I would go back to Europe to start working and following my own career path. I had my ups and my downs during these three years, but I am not defeated. I took whatever energy I had left and flew to Europe.

So while people may worry about my marriage, I wonder how didn't they worry before about my well being, health and sanity as well as my husband's one? Most people never understood our situation and that make them think that life is going to be harder for us now. Sincerely, the hardest part for us has been communicating, listening and understanding each other during these three years, for him, expressing his feeling of helplessness and for me, my frustration as well as the shame of showing it. Our relationship grew a lot and has never been stronger, but staying in the US would have converted us into two miserable persons.

I have no idea where this will lead us but I'm confident it's an amazing opportunity for both of us to grow. At the end, we will always have each other!

Vicerimus